The After School Special

The 2010 Douchebag Tournament!

ashleyintern — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 01:27:04 +0000

“I admit it—I’ve got a thing for the world’s greatest (worst?) douchebags. Being one of the biggest douches of the year is an impressive title. But there’s one better: Winner of the 2010 Douchebag Tournament (i.e., THE Douchebag-of-the-Year), held at HolyTaco.com. They’ve got the classic categories of douchebaggery: arrogant entertainers, morally-questionable athletes, politicians-gone-astray, and corrupt businessmen. And from March 16th-26th, a voting frenzy takes hold when you, that’s right, YOU —you internet-browsing douchebag-enthusiasts— get to vote on the most infamous of infamous. Already Jim Bunning (the notorious nay-sayer of unemployment) beat out Keith Olbermann (?). Tiger Woods has unsurprisingly out-douched Floyd Mayweather. And T-Pain has fallen to the formidable John Mayer.”

(www.irreference.com)

Who will come out on top? Only you can decide! So vote for the douchiest douchebags of 2010 at www.irreference.com & holytaco.com

ONLY 1 DAY REMIANS!

Won’t You Be My Neighbour?

ashleyintern — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 01:10:18 +0000

“I love you, Blog readers - just the way you are. And the reason I know to embrace you unconditionally like that is because Mister Rogers taught me to. Today, March 20, would have been his 82nd birthday – which means, thanks to Fred’s old colleagues in the Neighbourhood, that it’s also the third annual “Won’t You be my Neighbour Day.” Everyone who appreciates the kindness and community spirit to which Mister Rogers devoted his life is encouraged to celebrate by wearing your favourite comfy sweater – a light sweater, given the weather this week – and do something neighbourly for your nearest fellow humans. Because we love the Land of Make-Believe – but as long as we all have to live in the Land of Work and Cars and Taxes, let’s be kind to each other, eh?”

(www.irreference.com)

St. Pat’s Day: A History

ashleyintern — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 02:14:38 +0000

St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated on March 17. It marks St. Pat’s religious feast day and the anniversary of his death in the fifth century. The Irish have observed this day as a religious holiday for over a thousand years. On St. Patty’s Day, which falls during the Christian season of Lent, Irish families would traditionally attend church in the morning and celebrate in the afternoon. Lenten prohibitions against the consumption of meat were waived and people would dance, drink and feast—

Now for some shots.

Douchebag Quote of the Day

ashleyintern — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 14:16:32 +0000

Today’s Douchebag Quote of the Day isn’t exactly a quote – unless you count ‘peace and love’, but is an entertaining bit of douchebaggery nonetheless.

Apparently, Ringo, arguably the least talented of The Beatles, is too busy to receive and respond to fan mail. So, please stop sending it to him. Peace and love. PEACE and love. He goes so far as setting a date that will be the deadline for receiving fan mail. And, anything sent after that date ‘will be tossed’. Peace and love. In case you missed it, the entire message is offered with ‘peace and love’.

So, sit back, relax, and finish up your last piece of fan mail to Ringo. Peace and love.

(Douchebag Quote of the Day provided by http://www.irreference.com/)

Words of Wisdom

ashleyintern — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:57:50 +0000

How do you keep a girl / boy from becoming your girl / boy friend? Simple. The rules for this are the same as the rules for Gremlins:

Rule #1: Never get them wet – in other words, never allow them take a shower at your place.

Rule #2: Keep them away from sunlight – i.e. don’t ever see them during the day

Rule #3: Never feed them after midnight – meaning they don’t sleep over, and you don’t have breakfast with them. . . not even brunch.

(these Words of Wisdom were brought to you by the t.v. show How I Met Your Mother)

Werewolf Barmitzvah: A Wolfman Movie Review

ashleyintern — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:07:23 +0000

While, I must admit, my previous experience with werewolves has pretty much consisted of this:

I feel I’m still enough of a geek to comment on the new Wolfman movie. I was excited going into the movie, as Benicio DeTorro and Anthony Hopkins are both entertaining in their own right. Visually, the movie reminded me of Sleepy Hollow, another story of long-time-lore which made a comeback. The movie had great, gloomy shots of the moors that we’re very aesthetically pleasing. The story, which was, to be nice- bland at times, was slightly compensated for by the fact that they kept the wolf man looking like the monster from our past, who we’ve all come to love.

In all honesty, it is nice to see a werewolf movie after being bombarded by vampire movies over the last few years. And although I did enjoy seeing Anthony Hopkins eating people again, I felt that in terms of a monster movie, Wolfman fell short. It was entertaining, but not worth the buy.

This got me thinking to another werewolf movie, a Canadian cult classic you may be familiar with, Ginger Snaps.

Now, THERE’S a werewolf movie. This clever Canadian hit from 2000 takes a fresh spin on the curse of being a werewolf and ties it in with the curse of being a teenage girl- using the werewolf metaphor for puberty. It’s an original spin on the classic monster movie with a great soundtrack. Definitely worth a look-see if you’re interested in a man-eating good time. The other Ginger Snaps movies, not so much.

They don’t call it the curse for nothing…

For Katie on V-day <3

ashleyintern — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 04:09:06 +0000

I would like to dedicate this blog to Katie on valentine’s day. I hope this doesn’t make me seem like a creeper. Oh well, I guess I kinda am.

When people keep repeating
That you’ll never fall in love
When everybody keeps retreating
But you can’t seem to get enough
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart
When everything feels all over
When everybody seems unkind
I’ll give you a four-leaf clover
Take all the worry out of your mind
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart I have the only key to your heart
I can stop you falling apart
Try today, you’ll find this way
Come on and give me a chance to say
Let my love open the door
It’s all I’m living for
Release yourself from misery
Only one thing’s gonna set you free
That’s my love
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart
When tragedy befalls you
Don’t let them bring you down
Love can cure your problem
You’re so lucky I’m around
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart <3

Douchebag Quote of the Day

ashleyintern — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 14:40:31 +0000

Friday is here again, and so here is this weeks Douchebag Quote of the Day:

David Hasselhoff

“There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.”

The V-day Edition Part 2: Lingerie

ashleyintern — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:42:24 +0000

So, you want to get naked this weekend. Well, I’m here to help. I have been a lingerie consultant for almost a decade now, so let’s talk lingerie. This blog is dedicated to finding you the right lingerie for this upcoming valentine’s day (although these rules are not exclusive and can be applied to everyday bra and undies). Alright, let’s jump in shall we.

Lingerie

The fit of an item is the most important deciding factor when it comes to lingerie. Lingerie is meant to make you feel sexy and bring out your confidence- it’s as much for you as it is for him. It’s meant to make you feel good about yourself. If your lingerie isn’t the right fit, you’ll feel uncomfortable, and this will make it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

The Hourglass Shape: where the torso and hips are approximately the same width, with a defined waist.

Show Off: maximize the appearance of a curvy body by emphasizing your waist.

Lingerie Suggestion: you can emphasize your waste by wearing a corset, bustier, or waist cincher. You can also go for a fitted baby-doll with a built in bra to accentuate your curves. For a curvier body type, you’ll want to go for thongs that have a thicker waist band, brazillian undies, and boy cut undies. These cut across a fuller bottom to make it appear smaller. Avoid undies that have tight elastic waistbands, they will cut into the largest part of you.

The Triangle Shape: where the torso and upper body are wider than your hips, with little waist definition.

Show Off: emphasize your legs to draw attention away from how broad you are on top.

Lingerie Suggestion: minimize the appearance of broad shoulders by choosing an item that does up in a halter. Also, wider straps a more flattering than thinner ones. Short baby-dolls and nighty & cami sets are your best bet.With a smaller lower body you can also play around with the types of undies you go for- if you have a flat bum then thongs with a thin waist band and brazillian undies are best suited for you.

The Boyish Shape: where the torso and upper body are the same width as your hips, with little waist definition.

Show Off: emphasize how petite you are and create the curves that aren’t there.

Lingerie Suggestion: if you’re small chested and your desire is to create curves, a gel push-up bra is a great investment- it’s a visible difference. If you are willing to spend a little money, inserts called “cutlets” are also available, and will bring you up an entire cup size. Also, look for bras and lingerie that have deep plunging necklines. You are looking for the maximum cleavage here. You would do well in a bra and garter set, or a slim fitting baby-doll with a bra built in. If you have a little bum then thongs with a thin waist band and brazillian undies are best suited for you.

The Apple Shape: where your torso and upper body are wider than your hips, with little or no waist definition. You might have weight surrounding your waist.

Show Off: emphasize great cleavage and slim legs.

Lingerie Suggestion: if you are looking to hide a bit of a tummy, a baby-doll with a centre panel, or a baby-doll that is looser and more flowing is your best bet. You want to avoid anything with a built in bra if you are bigger than a D cup. If you feel uncomfortable in a less structured piece, then invest in a supportive bra like a balconette style bra- the right fitting bra will lift you to where you belong and you will instantly appear smaller. When you are looking for undies, choose some that do not have tight elastic waistbands, or that cut in- brazillian undies and boy cut undies offer fuller coverage while still being sexy.

The Pear Shape: where torso and upper body are smaller than your hips, with a defined waist.

Show Off: emphasize your waist and cleavage in order to balance a larger bottom half.

Lingerie Suggestion: if your looking for great cleavage, a gel push-up bra will maximize cleavage and create a fuller top to balance out a fuller bottom. Look for bras and lingerie that have deep plunging necklines. If you are looking to bring attention away from your hips, a baby-doll that is looser and that skims the hip is your best bet. If you are hippy and have a larger bum then you’ll want to go for thongs that have a thicker waist band, brazillian undies, and boy cut undies. These cut across a fuller bottom to make it appear smaller. Avoid undies that have tight elastic waistbands, they will cut into the largest part of you.

The most important thing to emphasize is fit, do not let your vanity come into play here ladies- if something doesn’t fit or suit your body type then go up a size or try something else. Don’t try to fit into a trend that doesn’t fit you.

5 Tricks that make a difference:

1. Stockings: when buying stockings, be sure you are buying the right ones. Stay-ups are thigh-high stockings you wear without a garter belt. They are better for women with slimmer thighs as they have a plastic band around the inside to keep them up, and can cut into fuller thighs. There are thigh highs that do not have this plastic band and are designed to be warn with a garter set. These are not stay-ups and will therefore not stay up by themselves. Also, when buying full stockings ensure that they fit and will not cut into your hips- if you are hippy and have a problem with this, buy fishnet stockings, cut the band off and wear them under your brazillian undies, it looks very burlesque.

2. Eyelashes: full, long eyelashes are just about the sexiest thing out there. Getting fake eyelashes or investing in a quality mascara can make all the difference. It’s an easy way to finish a look and make you feel special.

3. Lip Tint: lip tint allows for long lasting colour that can’t be kissed off. Also, for a flushed appearance, apply a small amount of the tint to the apples of your cheeks and rub in circles. Choose the colour based on your skin tone.

4. Details: make a lingerie outfit your own. If you aren’t thrilled with the undies that come with a set- change it up with something that suits you better. Mix and match items, play with bows and other accessories. Putting your own personal stamp on the outfit will make you feel more comfortable and confident in it.

5. Perfume: wear it. Depending on your mood, you can pick something light and airy, or something deep and delicious. Apply small amounts to the insides of your wrists, behind your earlobes, and your collarbone- these are erogenous zones and they will attract more attention if you add fragrance to them.

I hope this has gotten you excited about lingerie. From me to you, have a fabulous v-day.

The V-day Edition

ashleyintern — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:40:46 +0000

It’s here… again. Valentine’s day, the most Hallmark of all celebratory days. Now, normally, I would post something along the lines of “music to break hearts to”, or “10 alternatives to a lame v-day”. But this year I’ve decided not to. This year I will ignore the animosity I have brewing inside, swallow hard, and put on my best shit-eating grin. I will give v-day 2010 a chance, and in as such, I invite all others- whether you have a valentine or not- to get a heart on this year <3

V-day Songs that DON’T Suck:

1. Wreckless Eric – Whole Wide World

2. The Cars – Just What I Needed

3. The Cure – Love Song

4. Sloan – I Can Feel It

5. Radiohead – Reckoner

6. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps

7. Broken Social Scene – Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old

8. Queens of the Stone Age – Make It Wit You

9. The Smiths – These Things Take Time

10. Stars – My Favourite Book

V-day Movies that DON’T Suck:

1. Amelie

2. Stranger Than Fiction

3. Lars and the Real Girl

4. Say Anything

5. Pretty in Pink

So try to make the best out of V-day this year, I will be.